Britney isn't the only one in a Circus

Beers:0
Cigarettes:0
Cravings: 2 or 3 for beer

Holla Hookers! I know it has been a while but this budget situation in my state is stressing me out and making me work some crazy hours.....I would like to add no fast food has been consumed. Enough about that because I have some really good news to share....Ready?

1. The trip with Coco is booked and I will be heading to Aruba for a week. I have 72 days to work my sexy body into even better shape. (Can you tell I am practicing positive thinking?) I have found out that the resort does have water aerobics every day at 11am. Don't ask me about all the awesome restaurants Coco and I have found and why do I already have my entrees picked out?

2. I had weigh in yesterday and I am down 9.8 pounds and 7.5 inches so I am pretty excited. Nice and consistent. Very excited and looking forward to Feb. 28th to see more results. I have switched trainers and there is no more Gigi. I couldn't deal with her. I can't come up with a knickname for Melissa because she is a 4th grade teacher (and a member of VEA) and this is her second job. She is soooooo stressed and worried about losing her job that I can't say anything mean about her.

3. I am finally getting a nice tax return. After years of paying I have to mention this fact. It will be spent immediately on furniture the minute it is in my account. I am coming up on a year of being a homeowner so I have got to get busy finishing the back part of the house before my peeps arrive on March 27th!

4. Girls weekend is this weekend. Remember in my list of vain incentives on weight loss this was the first one. I will let you know if any of the girls notice. At this point I don't care if they do because I feel better already!

Ok enough of the celebrations!

Don't read this if you aren't ready for me to trash talk. Last night I was so damn excited to do aerobics with my girl Shirley T. and I walked into find WildOne scrunched in the most unbearable position in a Core class. She was red and looked shriveled up. She wasn't laughing at all. After her class was over she whispered to me that this was no Shirley T. class. WildOne was already broke down. Shirley T. was off and a crack pipe named Carla was going to teach our class. I had dealt with a crack bitch on Saturday who tried to kill me so I was ready. OH HELL NO........I always claim my spot in class and most everybody knows where I stand. This out of date 80's bitch invades my spot. I put a picture up right corner and she is the one in the yellow. It isn't her but her twin! Headband, tights and spandex and she had more hot pink blush on her cheeks than June Cleaver has ever worn in her life. You know June love her a little touch of blush. I simmered down but the minute we started I was scared for my life. She didn't just march.....she looked like she was winding up to pitch a pro baseball game. I couldn't look at WildOne because we would just crack up. We did a grapevine and 80's bitch started jumping and turning all over the place. I can't even describe it. The instructor couldn't even look over at our corner. Remember I am the most uncoordinated person in my classes but this woman was out of control. I hate the step and I was so ready for it to start so she would be limited to space. Oh no......80's bitch was all over my place. I didn't feel like I got a good workout because I was trying to fend for my life. Her arms and legs were everywhere. She left halfway thru step probably to go reapply blush and I could focus on the last of the class. Girls that I will be with this weekend I will reenact this for you....after a few beers! I think I focused too much because it hurts to breathe. At the end of the class WildOne said "I can't wait for the blog on this one". After we caught our breath we stormed the front desk and made sure Shirley T. would be back next week. Why do I think I kept calling her Shirley Q? OOOPS!

Happy Birthday Alligator Molester! Enjoy yourself this weekend and drink lots of Milla Lites for me!

Is the tranistion taking place?

Beers:0
Cigarettes:0
Cravings: this morning for cigarettes = 8

I didn't make it out of bed yesterday morning to get to the gym but it was probably a good thing since I had rocked it out in aerobics with Shirley T and my body need to rest for a few hours. I had brought my gym clothes with me to work so I could go after work. I did my weights and luckily there were no old people getting in my way and I was able to have a great workout on the treadmill...thanks to the new US that had pictures of Fergie and Josh's wedding.....I so love him and can't wait to see him on the beach in their honeymoon pictures.

I was looking forward to going home and baking the fish that I had stolen from my parent's neighbor while I took a nice relaxing shower. Furball aka Ella Bella found them while they were thawing so needless to say Furball needs to go on a diet and learn how to mop my floor. I went into a mode of panic....what was I going to eat? There was no way I could eat chili again. I could be bad because I know my other future fit friends had given into cravings this week but I went to Ukrop's and fixed a salad. Ukrop's is a scary place for me because their fried chicken calls my name the minute I walk in the door....I survived and was pretty proud of myself.

Today is pretty rough with wanting a cigarette and I am not sure what that is all about. Work is insane and every single one of my colleagues and everyone else is irritating the hell out of me. I am starting to think about being on the treadmill getting my stress out instead of smoking and drinking....maybe the tranistion is starting to take place?

Shirley T.

Beers: 0
Cigarettes: 0
Cravings: 2


I think she will be the reason I am successful this time. Last night's aerobic adventures with WildOne were hysterical. I bopped into the gym ready for it and there was WildOne so happy to see me. I don't think we thought of it as a workout. I know I thought of it as play time. Shirley T. remembered us and you know that went right to our heads. If you could see me on the risers you would know that I think of it as my playtime!

The starting music wasn't fun like last time because there were older people there (Please see the blog on Older People in archive posts). She did play our favorite 4 step song and it just makes me feel like I am in the club. I would never break a sweat like that in a club with the menz! You will be happy to know that Coochie was still played.

She made us add the risers and I once again was a disaster. Why did she call me out and say "don't force it darling.....feel it and do what your body wants to do".....WTF? My body would want to be at home on the couch watching the reviews of Michelle's inaugural ball gown. WildOne kept shouting "don't force it". I will force her to Dairy Queen to get me a blizzard!

We got through it with no broken bones but I am sore today. My legs are killing me and they hate me. My stomach muscles hurt and I am not sure if that is from the pilates part or from laughing at WildOne when she went to do a body roll and she looked like an ex stripper about to make her money for the night. I think she really wants to be a belly dancer in her next life.

Too bad WildOne locked her keys in her car and we had to go to never never land to get her extra key. By the time we ate Big Girl was starving!!!! Ok I am off to the gym! Peace Out train riders!

I Got A Feeling

Good Vibrations

I stole this from Food, Sweat and Mirrors...here are the rules:

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Giving it up for your love-Delbert McClinton

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
And I Ran - Hidden in Plain View
(Hmm...not sure what to make of that one!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Theme from Rocky......cracking up

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
If You'll be my bodyguard-Paul Simon

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Bartender's Song-Dave Matthews

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Wave on Wave-Pat Green

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
We want the Funk-George Clinton

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS?
Cocaine-Eric Clapton

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I wish it would rain down now-Phil Collins.....cracking up on this one

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S STORY?
Bad Medicine-Bon Jovi......so true

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I'm Yours....Jason Mraz......so not correct

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
don't stop till you get enough-michael jackson.......june cleaver will love that one

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Pocket full of sunshine-natasha betingfield

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
P.Y.T. Michael Jackson

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Shattered...Turn the Car Around OAR

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Song of the South-Alabama

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Proud Mary by CCR

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Summer of '69 .......can we change that to '09 please?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Human by the Killers

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Will you still love me tomorrow? Medley

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?I got a feeling-Billy Currington

Change is here!

My first blog I talked about how Obama's change had inspired me to change my lifestyle. I can't let today go by without commenting on what took place all day. I am soooooo proud of our country and embracing change and hope.

I love the first family and not because I am a huge Democrat. I love the fact that they have 2 young children, I love that he was on food stamps growing up and that his mom was a single mom. Now that we've got a President who understands everyday issues maybe there is hope for issues that matter most to me.

Ok...I had to say that since I've been glued to the tv all day long but you will be proud to know that I did tivo it long enough so I could go to the gym!

Cold weather and comfort food go hand in hand....I think

Is it just me or do the cravings really kick into gear with the cold weather? Thursday and Friday were very hard for me with cravings. Everybody was talking about how they were going to grab food and bunker down and wait out the cold. When I think of comfort food to bunker down with I think of casseroles covered in cheese and fried onions or creamy rich soups but that isn't going to help BigGirl stay on track. Who says they're going to bunker down with salads and canned tuna? Thank god I had cleaned my cabinets out or else I would've binged big time on shit I didn't need. I had a miny binge with the healthy food I had in the house.

I've been analyzing myself this week to see how I am doing and I found out that my planning has sucked this week in general. It really is the key to being successful and feeling good about the change. I am great planning Monday thru Thursday's lunch but my goal for next week is to work better on planning the whole week. I've also got to start journaling my food and my water. I was talking to Newlywed yesterday about how things were going with me and her and we both were talking about what we need to work on and what was going great. I thought about it for the rest of the drive to work and realized that this is definitely a work in progress. Hopefully, I am creating a lifestyle change instead of being on a diet.

On the positive side though I've noticed that I look at myself different in the mirror. Instead of saying "Holy Hell what have you done to yourself" I am now looking at the mirror and saying "BigGirl I can tell in your face or look at my arms and say the guns are starting to form again". I walk taller and feel soooo much better already. I keep thinking about what I will look like at some of my events that I told you about in an earlier blog.

Here is an observation that I was talking to Alligator Molester #2 about this week who by the way needs a MAJOR shotout for her big decsion to quit smoking and signed up for the Monument 10K this week...You Rock. Men are idiots about this lifestyle change but I will give a shot out to Recruiter because he is rebuilding his body as well and is being very supportive but as most things that I complain about most men...he is an exception. The other night I fell of the wagon because of RedHead and then the other night HookUpMan was sad that I wasn't going to drink beer with him and then he says to me and keep in mind he isn't a smoker "and why did you decide to quit smoking?" Ummmmm this was the same man who told me a couple of months ago he hated me smoking.....but with him wanting to drink beer and be crazy on Thursday he didn't like the new behavior. He sure didn't complain about the new aerobics behavior when I practiced some moves that Shirley T. taught me!

Speaking of Shirley T. I need to get ready for aerobics and then I am hitting the road and getting some loving from June Cleaver. I will be by myself in this aerobics class so maybe I will be able to concentrate but then again not having my friends there to distract me will do nothing about the problem I have with my feet and brain disconnect. June and I have already talked about the menu. She knows I am not eating any processed foods and she is ready for me to arrive!

Aerobics with the Pink Team and Shirley Q.....I mean Shirley T.

Beers:0
Cigarettes:0
Cravings:0


The Pink Team had made plans to do Aerobics together at 7pm. I knew it was going to be crazy with all of us in there but I was thinking about the teacher we had on Saturday. WildOne was the first one there at the gym (she was trying to recover from Tuesday night) and I was greeted by her riding her bike. She was bored and glad somebody else was there. I tried to get my weights done but with GiGi checking in every 2 seconds and slow asses who can't figure it out it took longer that I wanted. The other 2 pink team members arrived and WildOne was happy. She was so happy that she knocked over all of the exercise balls and then looked at me like I had done it. As we were waiting to storm the floor and claim our spot we couldn't help but notice that our teacher resembled our favorite comedian Shirley Q Liquor. I knew I was going to love this class. She was teaching a pilates class and she would just roll all over the floor and talk about how she had to lose some more of her mesh and she wasn't talking about her clothes (shirley t. had a tire around her waist) before she did some of the exercises.

So we take our places up front and in the mirror again and we're ready....the pink team is here and fired up. She started talking and asked the rest of the class "if they were ready because she could only hear this side of the room".....why did she point to our group and why did we start cheering back to her and high fiving....hey at least we're excited for this class!

The music started and it was Snoop Dog so we were good to go and instead of aerobics we were dancing. WildOne showed us some moves that will make us never question how she gets her victims again. Imagine being in an aerobics class and your teacher saying "throw the booty girls" well we threw it and I am still walking with a limp today. Note to self...If you are imagining in your head you look great throwing the body to a man don't look in the mirror during an aerobics exercise class. I will be scared to throw the booty ever again because of the flashbacks I will have of last night's vision. The next song came on and she said "pardon me girls but this song says Coochie" I hope you don't mind. I don't think the Pink Team stopped laughing for a while. It was like adding Red Bull to our water. It was like we were in a beginner's class for strippers and if you can imagine Shirley Q stripping you can imagine our class.

There was a girl wearing a Kappa Delta T shirt who looked like she wasn't at all impressed with our behavior. Her shirt looked pressed, matching headband and her moves were so crisp and straight I thought she was a robot with a great wig. If you could've seen her facial expressions when Shirley T. told her to throw the booty you would've lost it as well. I just wanted to tell her to pretend she had taken some shots of Bourbon and she was at a late night fraternity party. I am sure she loved it when I would yell out to WildOne....throw the booty and she would laugh and we would high five. Mature...I know!

20 minutes of dance time had passed and I was loving life thinking I was the Queen of Aerobics. I thought I was on the dance floor grooving and I loved it until... it was time to add the step. At one point she had us going so fast I had no clue what I was doing. The Queen of Aerobics turned into a pool of sweat and makeup running down her face. I had looked so cute at the start of aerobics. Even though I looked a hot mess I thought I was doing it right until I looked up and I am facing WildOne and the rest of the class is turned opposite. There is a severe disconnect between my feet and my head.

We made it through the pilates part and we all did good at this even though at one point I was sure my leg was going to fly off and smack a pink team member in the face. BigGirl is a little sore today...I will not lie. Shirley T. might be a big girl, who sits down while teaching aerobics but she can work a girl out. I soooooooooooo can't wait until class next week!