Thursday, January 15, 2009

Aerobics with the Pink Team and Shirley Q.....I mean Shirley T.


The Pink Team had made plans to do Aerobics together at 7pm. I knew it was going to be crazy with all of us in there but I was thinking about the teacher we had on Saturday. WildOne was the first one there at the gym (she was trying to recover from Tuesday night) and I was greeted by her riding her bike. She was bored and glad somebody else was there. I tried to get my weights done but with GiGi checking in every 2 seconds and slow asses who can't figure it out it took longer that I wanted. The other 2 pink team members arrived and WildOne was happy. She was so happy that she knocked over all of the exercise balls and then looked at me like I had done it. As we were waiting to storm the floor and claim our spot we couldn't help but notice that our teacher resembled our favorite comedian Shirley Q Liquor. I knew I was going to love this class. She was teaching a pilates class and she would just roll all over the floor and talk about how she had to lose some more of her mesh and she wasn't talking about her clothes (shirley t. had a tire around her waist) before she did some of the exercises.

So we take our places up front and in the mirror again and we're ready....the pink team is here and fired up. She started talking and asked the rest of the class "if they were ready because she could only hear this side of the room".....why did she point to our group and why did we start cheering back to her and high fiving....hey at least we're excited for this class!

The music started and it was Snoop Dog so we were good to go and instead of aerobics we were dancing. WildOne showed us some moves that will make us never question how she gets her victims again. Imagine being in an aerobics class and your teacher saying "throw the booty girls" well we threw it and I am still walking with a limp today. Note to self...If you are imagining in your head you look great throwing the body to a man don't look in the mirror during an aerobics exercise class. I will be scared to throw the booty ever again because of the flashbacks I will have of last night's vision. The next song came on and she said "pardon me girls but this song says Coochie" I hope you don't mind. I don't think the Pink Team stopped laughing for a while. It was like adding Red Bull to our water. It was like we were in a beginner's class for strippers and if you can imagine Shirley Q stripping you can imagine our class.

There was a girl wearing a Kappa Delta T shirt who looked like she wasn't at all impressed with our behavior. Her shirt looked pressed, matching headband and her moves were so crisp and straight I thought she was a robot with a great wig. If you could've seen her facial expressions when Shirley T. told her to throw the booty you would've lost it as well. I just wanted to tell her to pretend she had taken some shots of Bourbon and she was at a late night fraternity party. I am sure she loved it when I would yell out to WildOne....throw the booty and she would laugh and we would high five. Mature...I know!

20 minutes of dance time had passed and I was loving life thinking I was the Queen of Aerobics. I thought I was on the dance floor grooving and I loved it until... it was time to add the step. At one point she had us going so fast I had no clue what I was doing. The Queen of Aerobics turned into a pool of sweat and makeup running down her face. I had looked so cute at the start of aerobics. Even though I looked a hot mess I thought I was doing it right until I looked up and I am facing WildOne and the rest of the class is turned opposite. There is a severe disconnect between my feet and my head.

We made it through the pilates part and we all did good at this even though at one point I was sure my leg was going to fly off and smack a pink team member in the face. BigGirl is a little sore today...I will not lie. Shirley T. might be a big girl, who sits down while teaching aerobics but she can work a girl out. I soooooooooooo can't wait until class next week!


Steelers Wine Girl said...

OMG, it sounds like this class was designed for you and the rest of the Team! I can't believe the instructor looks like Shirley Q!!!! I want to move to Richmond and go to the gym with yinz!

ztateach said...

I am sad I missed it! I will come and tear up that step and Shirley T next time I am in town...and throw the booty back will have a whole new meaning! LOL Proud of you!! XOXO